The Differences Between Zombies…

There are 6 subspecies of zombies to be found:

1. Dancing zombies, the Michael Jackson clones mentioned above (see Origins). They tend to moonwalk towards their victims. They’re quite a THRILLEEEEEEEER.
2. The tamed zombie is usually created in a controlled environment, where an undesirable person such as a toddler, your mom, nag or pesky neighbor is placed in a tank with a zombie that is near re-death. The zombie strides over to the person, carefully cracks open their skull with butter-knife, and eats their brain with a knife, fork and neckerchief. Simple as that. The zombie is created. The reanimated corpse the goes through an intensive regime of S&M too show it who the boss is.
3. Feral zombies are created in much the same way, except there is no tank and no butter-knife, and no civilized accessories. Feral zombies leap savagely upon the victim, maul them with their teeth, rip off their head with their bare hands, smash it against the floor until it cracks open and devour the brains hungrily, all the while making a rather disgusting animal-like noise that resembles that of the Crazy Cat Lady from The Simpsons.
4. Astro zombies, under the leadership of Glenn Danzig, were sent to rape the land circa 1980. Their prime directive: exterminate the whole human race.
5. Pirahna Babies - Created by tossing the cutest of babies into a pool filled with electrified mouse parts, a Pirahna (Zombie) Baby will be created, and will instantly sense other pirahna babies to form a hunting pack with. Through their powers of levitation and spine tooth filled mouths, the pirahna babies can strip the flesh from a living human in less than 12 nanoseconds.
6. See Rob Zombie